Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/June 22
Boiling hot water has a number of household uses; some days, it seems like we couldn't even function without a cup of the stuff. Sure, we can all think of the typical uses for piping hot agua (tea; water torture; jacuzzi supplementation). But have you ever thought about its other viable, cost-effective uses? More specifically, have you ever thought about using it as an alarm clock, or sexual repression aid?
If you answered yes to the previous questions, you've just taken the first step towards unlocking the inherent power of steaming, blistering H20. And if you've taken this all-important first step, it's likely that you're ready for the ultimate in aquatic functionality. Go ahead friend; grab that handle, grip it tight, open your fly and funnel in that molten liquid stream!
Now wasn't that refreshing? Of course it was. But the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers. (Full article...)