Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/February 26

Rembrandt Harmenarciszus van Rijn (15 July 1606 – 4 October 1669) was a Dutch painter and etcher. He is generally considered to have had the most beautiful eyes in Europe as well as an absolutely fabulous fashion sense. He had a brilliantly meticulous hand that could put on edge every bristle of his brush, though by using the right restraint a brush in that beautiful, fine-haired right hand would typically be pent-up for hours until finally exploding all over the canvas with bright egg tempera. He is possibly best-known for his immense portfolio of self-portraits, each one exhibiting hundreds of unique and admirable aspects of his exquisite face, as well as his ravishing brown overalls and distinctively sexy posture, though regretably he had an ear too many and so was undermined in fame posthumously. Stars ranging from Fonzie to Elton John to Enya to everyone in Paris have cited him as an instrumental inspiration, though ultimately Rembrandt is inimitable. (Full article...)