Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 24

Commercial Conformity Period, branded as CCP; is a period of time, likened by many to Christmas but with that 'Marks and Spencer' feel, officially branded as "Christmas: Now with less guilt-inducing religiosity", this year sponsored by Argos™. Lasting from August 25th until an abrupt end on December 26th, people are forced, by the power of guilt, to purchase overpriced novelty gifts which are generally only used one day in the year before they either break or are placed at the back of the wardrobe and never spoken of again.

During Commercial Conformity Period, it is tradition to adorn one's house with pieces of card, which are pegged on an indoor washing line before later being recycled as shopping lists. It is also customary to purchase a plastic imitation tree and place it in the middle of the front room with some of the branches obstructing the television in order to achieve a general atmosphere of dread to enforce upon one's relatives.

Whilst the more wealthy and environmentally friendly opt to use a genuine ten foot fir, beech or palm tree, most households own a ceremonial yucca plant which is taken from the attic each year and placed on the kitchen table. This negates the problem of picking pine needles out of one's feet, hands and ears in January, though is less effective in injuring less popular family members. (Full article...)