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“I'm positive that I don't know what I'm talking about!”
A Possible Definition of Uncertainty
Uncertainty may be a topic referring to not being entirely sure, but this is easily disputable. At least, it is sort of conceivable that the aforementioned definition could be disputed. People who are possibly experts (although they could easily be total frauds) are uncertain about this topic. Nobody is really sure if any of this information on uncertainty is trustworthy, and whether or not this topic actually exists is undetermined.
Or maybe somebody is sure, and they're not telling the rest of us.
Or they may have told everybody except you and me. Unless, of course, that person who is sure about the controversy that may or may not surround uncertainty is you, which is entirely possible. Except if it is entirely impossible, in which case it would not be possible for you to be certain about anything. Possibly.
The Dangers of Uncertainty, which may not be Dangerous, but they Could be
Being uncertain can sometimes lead to unwanted things, although it can just as easily turn out okay. But not always. If it doesn't turn out okay, then it would be a good idea to remove uncertainty concerning what the hell it was that didn't turn out okay. Well, that's a good idea most of the time... anyway, you don't want to be uncertain about how to deal with the problem, unless that uncertainty delays you long enough for somebody who knows what they're doing to fix the problem. Or do their laundry, which could also be a possible course of action. Then it might be okay to be uncertain, especially if their laundry needs washing, but this is only speculation.
For example, if you, like, played Zork (a 50% chance of this occurring, unless I just made that statistic up) and had to choose between being eaten by a grue and something else, which maybe could be eating the grue (assuming, of course, that's an option, which it might not be), you might be struck by uncertainty and suffer severe trauma.
Painkillers could work, but the doctors might be uncertain about which one to use, since there is a chance you are allergic to the one they think they want to use (assuming they actually want to use a painkiller, of course). You might not even know you are allergic to a certain medicine (but you probably would if you had prior experience, I don't know), or if you were, you might be uncertain about wearing a little necklace that says something sort of like "Allergic to aspirin." Who knows how it would look? Maybe not you, because, if you really were playing Zork (which might have been linked when it was referred to earlier, but uncertainty makes the writer worry about possibly wasting time on worrying about it), you would have no sense of what looks good or bad on you.
Although this may not be the case, since you could be anybody and not even be certain about who you are. Not only that, but you might not even be playing Zork, in which case it is uncertain if any of this has any bearing on anything real. Even more uncertain is the possible chance that maybe nothing/everything is real, and we just can't be certain.
Hell, if you don't even know what Zork is, or if you only think you know but are uncertain about it, then this whole damn article amounts to jackshit. Or maybe only part of it amounts to jackshit, it could just as easily be something else. It might not even amount at all, since it is uncertain if it is possible for an article to "amount", since "amount" could mean anything. It might mean nothing, or it might not. This probably would depend on the reader's language. It is uncertain if someone(s) is certain about this.
Sometimes, there is a chance people may think that uncertainty is a bad thing, usually when referring to what could be their favored religion. On occasion, these people are wrong, and then atheists laugh at them. But only if they are mean atheists.
The One True Certainty
The one true certainty is that there are two possibilities, which are as follows:
- You understood this article, in which case you are just completely nuts, or
- This article just BLEW YOUR FUCKING MIND.
- "Tiny Centaur"
- "Nectary Unit"
- "Tincture? Nay"
- "Rutty Canine"
- "Ricey Nut Tan"
- "Retain Cunty"
|This article is really incofuckingherent and is a disgrace to the Internet.|
|Ape-Shit Crazy. Its hopelessness and nonsensicalness do nothing to aid this.
The virus is Ape-Shit Crazy, and reigns champion at the zoo.
If you attempt to assassinate this, you will (in a most unimpressed manner) become Ape-Shit Crazy yourself.
Or else the editors at Uncyclopedia will eat your forefinger.