UnNews:Welshman sick of people using the word "welsh"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

2 August 2006

A pissed off Welshman takes offense after being accused of welshing on a bet he could properly pronounce Rhondda Cynon Tâf.

MYNYDD TIR Y CWMWD, Wales GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK) -Welshman Daffydd Rhys-Llewellyn says he is sick and tired of English speakers using the term "welsh" to desribe the act of refusing to pay up after losing a bet.

Speaking through an interpreter, as he refuses to speak English, the Welsh nationalist said: "This stereotype of the Welshman as an untrustworthy fellow with a congenital compulsion to renege on every deal he makes is part of the centuries-long Cymruphobe propaganda campaign peddled by the English."

Rhys-Llewellyn points to the popular schoolyard chant "Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, Taffy came to my house and stole a leg of beef" as evidence that the hated English are indoctinating their children to hate the Welsh.

Sipping from a bowl of leek soup outside a daffodil stand in between finishing his shift at the coal mine and starting choir practice for the eisteddfod, Rhys-Llewellyn said Welsh stereotypes were unfair.

"They're as outdated and offensive as suggesting that all Scotsmen are tight with their money and take Glasgow showers (a swipe of underarm deodorant as an alternative to bathing) and as revolting as the caricature of the hook-nosed Shylock Jew found in neo-Nazi pamphlets and Star Wars prequels," he said.

"It all goes back to the Anglo-Saxons' failure to conquer the Welsh, after which they had the hide to dub them 'Walha' or 'foreigners'. The Welsh, for rather obvious reasons, preferred to call themselves 'Brythoniaid', or Britons.

"It's about time the Anglo-Saxon world got over it."

Sources

• Hieronymous Bosch "Save the Wales, shoot the seals" The Busch Brewing Company, August 2, 2006