UnNews:We need to talk about border separation

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This editorial is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-moron misinformation. You can bloody well piss off if you don't like it!


Tuesday, June 19, 2018

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I'm sure (and sincerely hope) you've heard lately that that deplorable piece of shit So-Called "President"* Donald Trump, has further confirmed that he is the evilest, sickest, most disgusting person to occupy the office, this time by separating children from their immigrant parents and placing them in... let's call them what they are... internment/concentration camps. In several more ways that one, Trump is literally tearing families apart because of a "zero-tolerance" policy on Mexican immigration to the United States.

So, if you still support that vile pig after all he's done so far, 1) fuck right off and rot in hell, 2) history will judge you no better than it does Hitler and his Nazi followers, and 3) take a good fucking look at what you're supporting:

  • 1,500 immigrant children have been placed in Casa Padre, a former Walmart in Brownsville, TX. They might never see their parents again, who might be deported. These folks have every right to live in the United States. They have as much right as we do. Hell, if you think about it, our founding fathers were immigrants, too. What does that make you? A hypocrite.
  • Their cafeteria resembles one you'd find in a prison.
  • These children are only allowed two hours outside and one hour of free time. That's worse than even the strictest asshole pond-scum parents ever to acquire opposable thumbs.
  • On a wall (no, not that one!) is a quote with a mural of The Great Orange God™, who was somehow not nominated for the MTV Award for Best Villain. (Maybe they're saving him for next year?) The quote reads, "Sometimes losing a battle you find a new way to win the war." Trump hasn't won shit.
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  • They sleep in tiny beds and shower with tiny towels. They are supposed to be four to a room, but "nearly every room has 5," according to MSNBC's Jacob Soboroff.
  • Not once has the internment camp had even one member of the MS-13 gang. Meaning this whole entire affair is all for naught and a sham. But even if they had, separating innocent families by interning their kids is just downright despicable. Look what Americans did to the Japanese after Pearl Harbor. Or worse, what Hitler and the Nazis did to the Jews.
  • The kids, according to Soboroff, "they feel like animals in a cage being looked at," so employees have been instructed to smile. I'm surprised anybody can smile with all the shit that's going on right now. But I do my best to block it out. However, I'm willing to hold Trump and his goons accountable if they cross the line... which they have several times over. If I feel strongly about what these criminals are doing, I won't mince words. Fuck these monsters.
  • Employees have been instructed to call the cops and the communications director (in that order!) if they catch any media (such as news reporters and journalists) on their premises. No. Just no. This is a direct violation of the First Amendment.

We at UnNews -- each and every one of us, even the dicks, Ralph-Lauren-and-poker spammers and vandals we've blocked lately -- find these crimes against humanity sick, disgusting, despicable, deplorable, repugnant, immoral, heartbreaking, cruel, unwarranted, frivolous, fascist, racist, and most certainly illegal.

Please remember to vote on November 6, 2018, and November 3, 2020. Our democracy -- and our future -- depends on it.

Now back to the jokes and tomfoolery like that stupid Space Force thingy, the Halloween trailer, the Friday the 13th copyright saga, Yanny/Laurel, and the latest rapper shootings.