UnNews:Universal to make profitable Fast and Furious sequel
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
3 December 2013
Universal Pictures has confirmed that it will make a "lucrative" sequel to the Fast and Furious franchise, despite the recent death of star Paul Walker.
A spokesman said, "Obviously on the one hand it looks rather tasteless to make an action movie based around crazy car chases when one of the faces of the series has just died in a crazy car crash. But on the other hand, Google searches for "Fast and Furious" are up to record 2011 levels."
"Of course, we all only live once, so when an actor dies, it gives a promotional campaign a kind of dangerous and visceral push that can't be beat. Although naturally, it's not a strategy you can use for every picture you make."
"We are sure that if Paul could have called us from the wreckage, he would have told us to go out there and make the most lucrative, er the most blockbusting movie we could."
Star Vin Diesel told UnNews: "At first I thought it was a disgusting idea, that the series should rest in peace with Paul. Then my agent called me with the numbers. Now I just keep telling myself over and over 'It's what he would have wanted, it's what he would have wanted'."
"It's what he would have wanted."
Sources at Universal denied that the picture would change its name from "Fast and Furious 7" to Slow and Calm.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "Star's death puts studio in a bind on a sequel" NDTV, November 30, 2013