UnNews:U. S. surprised by Putin
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
11 February 2007
USA - The United States of America, or U. S. for short, expressed surprise at Russian spokesman Vladimir Putin for overstepping himself.
According to George Bush, the country’s spokesman, the U. S. also expressed disappointment, especially in the mid-Atlantic states region. Florida’s panhandle may even have developed an ulcer.
Putin overstepped himself, the American nation contends, when he said the nation’s use of its military resources was as “hyperactive” as Russia’s own thyroid. As a result, Putin said, the rest of the world feels the need to “go nuclear.” Although the U. S. and Russia have, through the diplomatic efforts of their respective capitol cities, forged “close ties” after the September 11, 2001 attack on New York City, “the countries have walked on eggshells in more recent days,” Putin said, “neither wishing to hurt the fault lines of the other.”
Nevertheless, the Russian spokesman said, his nation felt the need to “speak out, as one friend to another, and to say to America: back off!”
Washington, D. C. has suggested that Putin should let his country speak for itself directly, as the U. S. capitol plans to do in an upcoming speech. “The time for using spokesmen as intermediaries between one another has passed,” the city said. “Instead of speaking indirectly to one another, through Putin and Bush, it is time for Russia and America to speak directly and openly.” To this end, Colorado has launched several ICBM’s toward Moscow. “That ought to make an impact,” Denver suggested.
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- Lotta Lies "Russia and the U. S. speak openly and frankly" Instant News, 16 seconds ago