UnNews:U.S. gives nuke tech to India, South Korea like, "WTF?"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

18 December 2006

India drops Pakistan a quick "howdeedoo."

WASHINGTON - President Bush signed legislation on Monday to let America share its nuclear know-how and fuel with India even though New Delhi refuses to sign the Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty. South Korea responded with a big "WTF?"

"Everybody knows India is just itching to drop a big 'ol A-bomb on their Pakistani neighbors," said Suk Muk Dik, head of nuclear shit in South Korea. "But when we want to develop our own nukes, suddenly we're the bad guys. What a load."

Bush explained, "By helping India expand its use of safe nuclear energy, this bill lays the foundation for a new strategic partnership between our two nations that will help ease India's demands for fossil fuels and ease pressure on global markets."

The bill carves out an exemption in U.S. law to allow civilian nuclear trade with India in exchange for Indian safeguards and inspections at its 14 civilian nuclear plants. Eight military plants, however, would remain off-limits to the inspections.

"See?" complained Suckdick. "They're not even letting inspectors into eight of their plants. I mean, really. Come on. Is this favoritism or what?"

The House and Senate had overwhelmingly approved the nuclear cooperation bill, because in spite of everything, they all agreed that they don't like those thick-skulled, pushy, aggressive Koreans, whereas Indians are still cool.