UnNews:Things in Syria still bad, some say

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

27 January 2013

Something in Foreignese, SYRIA -- Things in Syria have been bad for a while now, and currently they are still bad. It is reported that they possibly do not like America and themselves, and we believe that they may be bombing us later if we don't do something about what is known throughout the world as "bad stuff."

Obama is trying to improve foreign policies to fix this "bad stuff" in Syria, but Syrians for the war have been reported to "not like that." In a possible coincidence, Syrians also do not think the United Nations is being nice about the whole ordeal. The United Nations has responded by saying:

“ We thought we were being pretty good about it. We have to stop it somehow. ”

— A statement from the United Nations, 2013

Israel has also been reported to be mad at Iran for unknown reasons, but the current status of the relationship between this anger and Syria's "bad stuff" is a mystery. As they are both in the Middle East, we at UnNews figure there must be some kind of a geographical link that we will delve into further.

In the meantime, we interviewed an average American on the street about Syria, who told us "Man, I haven't eaten in 3 days! I ain't care about no Syria shit, I just need some food!". We advise other news network stations that when doing interviews, under no circumstances should you find people behind a gas station corner store by your apartment.

We'll cover more about this Syria business as we uncover more about it.