UnNews:Tarantino denies Django makes viewers act like Southern gents

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22 January 2013

Many cock-sucking hipsters have been taken in by the trend.

THESE PARTS, Roun' here -- Controversial director Quentin Tarantino has denied that his latest movie Django Unchained has inspired a dangerous trend among young Americans to dress and talk like Southern gents.

When asked by a journalist, "Why are you so sure there's no link between enjoying this movie and dressing like Colonel Sanders? And talking like Mark Twain, for that matter?" Tarantino was visibly upset. He replied tetchily, "I refuse your question. I’m not your slave and you’re not my master. You can’t make me dance to your tune. I’m not a monkey." When asked whether this response implied he associated the black slaves of his latest controversial moive with monkeys, the 47 year old director of classics Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction (and some other, OK, pictures) stormed out.

In extreme cases, some men have taken to dressing exactly like the characters from the movie.

Tarantino has been under pressure since the movie was first trailed, as it coincided with an increase in the number of worrying cases of young citizens dressing in long-tailed three piece suits. Then, in October, things became more serious when a man with a history of mental illness walked into a movie theater in Colorado wearing nothing but a smock, and in December there was national outrage when another man broke into an elementary school wearing Django's distinctive blue outfit and attempted to start a hoedown.

We spoke to Marios Charalambous, a 24 year old Greek American from Philadelphia, who now insists on being called Cornelius LeBeau.

He told us: "Now, now, don't go askin' meh all those refined, sophisticated questions aht here wi' tha Lord's hot sun beatin' down on us. If y'all should care to parlay a little further with my good self, may Ah invite you and indeed all yo' acquaintances into my parlah. We shall be having tha most exquisite white cake, rustled up bah my own cook Nanny Gravy."

Once inside, Charalambous Lebeau took a sip of his homemade lemonade and continued, "Well lis'en now. Our sole intention and pleasure is tah act tha way we see fit as Southern gentlemen. Y'all can't be putting us inta tha same basket as those rambunctious souls in Denver or Newtown."

When asked if he had been inspired by Tarantino's latest effort, he put his hand camply on his chest and said: "Ah do declare, Ah have no fair idea who this Tarantino character might be. Judging solely by tha poor devil's name Ah should venture that he is a gentleman of tha Mediterranean persuasion. Would mah presumption there be correct?"

Sources

• Leverage, "Quentin Tarantino refuses to answer question linking violence to movies" Guardian, January 22, 2012