UnNews:Steve Irwin almost completely forgotten
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
14 September 2006
DALLAS, Texas - Barely a week has passed since the death of Steve Irwin, also known as "Crocodile Dundee," and he is already almost completely forgotten, says a new study by the University of Dallas Department of Sociology.
A survey taken Wednesday of a sample of nearly 1,600 shoppers at the Negropointe Mall found that Irwin is only remembered for sure by approximately .05 percent of people, and only partially remembered by about 1 percent. Those who weren't able to completely identify him referred to him as "that lizard guy," or "that guy with the hat."
"This kind of thing is a direct result of the rapid pace and superficiality of the media," said professor Nathan Minfin, director of the study. "Celebrities rise and fall in the public consciousness so quickly that one day someone can be the most famous person in the world, and the next they're like what's his face, here."
Minfin also used as an example that one guy who was everywhere there for a while, on TV all the time, you know, the tall guy who saved those people or whatever, who you never see at all anymore and could be dead for all we know.
In the past, notorious criminals or killers used to be assured a long-term place in the public's memory, but not even that is a guarantee, anymore. "Like that dude a while back who killed his wife," said Minfin. "Remember how important everybody thought that was? And now, it's like, huh? Who are you talking about?"
This is seen as a particular relief for readers of Uncyclopedia's UnNews, with reports about and relating to Steve's untimely demise inundating the acclaimed news page. It was with a sigh of relief that the previous weekend passed without a mention of Steve Irwin in the headlines. Except for this article. Oops.
With continued media fragmentation and rapid story turnover, scientists like what's his name here don't see the trend slowing down anytime soon.