UnNews:Slave to the Grind matches Dr Feelgood on two-song basis

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4 August 2011

Shout at the Devil: Sebastian Bach (second from left) and Skid Row yesterday.

MELBOURNE, Australia, GNN (Goanna News Network). SKID Row's 1991 album Slave to the Grind is pretty much as good as Motley Crue's apogee Dr Feelgood on a two-song basis, '80s metal fan Brent "Potato" Couchman said yesterday.

In a move sure to divide pudgy, balding fortysomethings across the globe, Couchman said the Skid Row songs The Threat and Slave to the Grind were more or less as good as the Crue's Dr Feelgood and Kickstart My Heart.

"After that, though, it's all downhill for The Row," Couchman said. "Monkey Business is no Slice of Your Pie, and then they have nothing to match Rattlesnake Shake or She Goes Down."

Couchman's girlfriend, non-metal fan Sally J. Radioproducer, contributed valuable insights during the deliberation process -- despite only knowing Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach from Celebrity Fat Camp and drummer Phil Varone from Celebrity Rehab.

"So did they (Skid Row) only do this after Dr Feelgood?" she asked while being forced to listen to The Threat.

Couchman agreed that Skid Row had gone noticeably heavier after the Crue's 1989 triumph, but he tried to ascribe this to the fact that Slave to the Grind had been produced by some German guy who had also worked on records by '80 German metal legends Accept.

Couchman was last in the news when he alleged that the best AC/DC song was actually written and performed by The Casanovas and that four of the best five Ramones songs were actually written and performed by Japanese-Australian punk band Mach Pelican.