UnNews:Sanders promises "fully-automated gay luxury space communism" at rally

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Sunday, March 10, 2019

President of the United States, Donald J. Frump.

At a rally in Nebrakansas, Colonel Bernie Sanders promised a crowd of 1,488 stoned cucks, "Fully-automated gay luxury space communism." Sanders barely survived the speech after recent criticism for declining to comment on whether he would like to see the Democratic Party support mandatory daily homosexuality enforced in all public schools.

The Zionist anti-Semitic Jew Sanders also promised his mindless drove of followers "free everything, somehow," and praised Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and most controversially, Fareed Zakaria.

God Emperor of the United States Donald Frump, seeking re-election after a stunning loss in the popular vote to Empress Hillary Clinton, took to Twitter to criticize the Communist News Network (CNN) and Crazy Bernie.

The thin-skinned orange fatsuit called the civil rights activist and independent Senator Sanders a "beta" and CNN's Dumb Lemon a "dumb lemon." The corporatist liberal media defended Comrade Sanders and summoned their attack dogs against the President and democracy.

One of the attack dogs was Antifa™, the terrorist group responsible for 9/11, who sent angry Tweets and probably burned a flag somewhere. George Soros, CEO of Antifa™, donated 45 billion dollars to President Sanders after his promise of fully-automated gay luxury space communism, for which the stock market is expected to open Monday with early gains and the ACLU has filed a lawsuit.