UnNews:Russia hits meteor with the force of 30 Hiroshima bombs
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
16 February 2013
Urals region, Russia -- A 55 foot rock, descending from space, decided to head to Russia today. It hit the mother country just above the Urals, but if its intention was to do damage, it chose its location badly: meteors don't hit Russia, Russia hits meteors. The mass of the celestial body was great, but it wasn't as great as Russia. The meteor lost its form and ended up becoming around 1,200 pieces of pwned rock. No homes nor Russians were harmed. However, the meteor has disgraced the name of the Galaxy.[1]
NASA confirmed that before the meteor dispersed into the air at the conclusion of the Russian victory, there was a giant explosion. Russia did not receive any damage.[2] This explosion contained a force 30 times more powerful than that of the Hiroshima bomb, dropped on the Japanese with "swiftness" in 1945 by the United States. Japan was unfortunately not Russia in that year.
"It sounded like a war", stated a witness of this epic collision.[3]
A number of Russian women have confirmed that their ovaries exploded shortly after the epic collision, but state officials insist there is no evidence that the meteor was the cause, an this is a still unexplained biological phenomenon. Russia baby...
Before yesterday, experts had described the likelihood of any collision as being "one in a million", due to the fact most aliens and meteors should know better than to disturb Russia. Russia ended up disturbing the meteor.
President/Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said: "I have no comment to make. As soon as I think of another funny Russian reversal line, I will tweet it."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Telegraph staff and agencies "Russian meteor hit with force of 30 Hiroshima bombs" Telegraph, February 16, 2013