UnNews:Rat boy scum get "bad deal from society"

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14 March 2007

A picture that would make any mother proud.

GOBSHITE, UK -- One hundred spotty faced wastrel teenage scumbags will demonstrate outside Parliament today.The protest is part of a campaign calling for Government action to "f*#?ing F!#% off! What are yer gonna do about it. You can't touch us or we'll f#(*ing 'av you for assault!".

The march comes in the wake of increasing opposition to groups of hooded youths skulking around neighborhoods causing an atmosphere of fear and terror amongst law abiding families who live there, "wot are they gonna do about it?", said Trevor Snipnose (13) last night, "they can't touch me cos I'll 'av em for assault."

The feral youths will present Chancellor Gordon Brown with the interim findings of a national inquiry. It revealed high levels of concern among young people that they weren't being allowed to freely wander the streets at all hours God sent high on glue and wine. "If we wanna drink wine and sniff glue in the local kiddies park thats up to us innit!", Trevor added, "I mean, wot are they gonna do about it, if they try anything I'll 'av em for attempted kidnap innit!".

Other demands include the banning of police patrols in certain areas, "We 'av our human rights innit. Why should we keep getting hassled by the pigs every night. All we wanna do is nick cars and burgle houses in peace. Anyways, if they touch us we'll just 'av em for police brutality."

The review was chaired by broadcaster, lunatic left wing lesbian goose farmer and former MP Oona Windbag. She said last night: "What we need is to allow these youths to run free. Young people are getting a bad deal from mainstream society. Violence and disorder should be encouraged in these misunderstood youngsters. After all we all have insurance to cover any loss or damage to our property. Live and let live is what I say, don't you?"

Ironically Ms Windbag was arrested and charged with assault this morning. She allegedly beat a youth about the head with an umbrella after she caught him crapping on the drivers seat of her Audi sports convertible.

Sources[edit | edit source]

  • You lookin at! "Wot" tossers!, march 14, 2007