UnNews:Queen Elizabeth II reveals diet tips
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
20 January 2012
WINCHESTER, Hampshire, UK -- Queen Elizabeth II was seen off of the coast of Winchester today, revealing the results of her newest diet. The current monarch of England was enjoying a day out with the royal family at the coastal town, when paparazzi snapped up the opportunity to gain the photo of a lifetime. Soon after the events unfolded, the pictures went viral on the internet. This led to several server meltdowns, such as Wikipedia, Craigslist and part of Google. The meltdowns caused the sites content to be replaced with a black 'error' box. Trying to avoid the embarrassing situation of explaining why the hardware was not satisfactory enough to handle such data, the sites thought it would be a better idea to blame the errors on SOPA.
Queen Elizabeth later agreed to a press conference about her diet results.
“ | One has agreed with one's dietitian one will not give the full secret of one's diet away. However, one can hint at the fact that melting government money into various fruits and vegetables is extremely good for you. That is of course, if one has a 'help yourself' agreement with the government. | ” |
The Queen revealed that she has been asked to do a photoshoot for Playboy. She respectfully declined, stating she already had a deal with a souvenir company to place her nude photos on postcards in London shops. Trusted sources told us that the Elizabeth's breasts have been valued at £30Million.
David Cameron, lord of the underworld, and Prime Minister of the UK was quoted saying this:
“ | Boom Chicka Waaw Waa... | ” |
After telling our reporters to sod off, David Cameron and Queen Elizabeth left the press conference, and rushed into the palace's back bedroom.
On a side note, Prince Phillip also announced the launch of his new boxer shorts - the "By Phil" range would hit stores soon.