UnNews:Policewoman claims £1.5million for being hit with pineapple
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 April 2013
A former policewoman who claimed £1.5million damages for being hit by a pineapple was awarded just £30 yesterday.
A judge branded Constable Dorothy Perkins, 43, a liar who consistently misled medical experts.
According to sources Perkins yelled "Bling bling, Every time I come around your city, Bling bling, Pinky ring worth about fifty, Bling bling, Every time I buy a new ride, Bling bling, Lorenzos on Yokahama tires, Bling bling" when a doctor diagnosed her as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
She tried to blackmail her married policeman lover to lie for her in court - saying she would show his wife incriminating photographs of him and a goat on a frisky Friday night out. And despite claiming to have been left a mentally scarred recluse by her injury - which happened when a demonstration turned into a riot - she had holidays in Australia, Brazil, France, Sri Lanka, Spain and Chad.
Perkins, from Paisley, was slightly hurt when the pineapple was hurled at her during a protest at the closure of Glasgow's Govanhill Brothel
After she quit Strathclyde Police, she sued the pineapple, claiming the prickly fruit had botched the operation.
She maintained that she had been exposed to unnecessary and unacceptable risk and the experience had left her mentally scarred for life and forced her to quit the job.
In her evidence, Perkins claimed her personality had changed completely and she constantly relived the Govanhill experience.
She had become violent, smashed up her stress ball and was like a "caged llama" living in a dark and "isolated world", along with her two kids and dog, Fluffy.
Perkins also claimed that she would have reached the rank of chief inspector if she had not been forced to quit the police.
But her lover, Detective Constable Howu Doin, told a hearing at the Court of Session the former Under 12 chess champion for Sussex was not a stable person.
The judge awarded her £30 for the only physical consequence of the riot - a minor injury to the boob.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- IFYMB!, "Pineapple chump" The Sun, 11th October 2008