UnNews:People who say 'great' cause of all problems
Saturday, February 4, 2017
People who say things are 'great', or should be 'great', are the key to all of the world's current problems, a new study has found.
Joanna Corey, a sociology professor from Arizona State University, correlated data from political and social disasters in the last 25 years and found that someone, somewhere was usually saying the word.
Almost 99% of Islamic terrorist attacks were found to feature the phrase Allahu Akbar, meaning "God is great", although the last syllable was often obscured by a loud bang.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump, recently voted Thing We Are Most Worried About at the Brown People Awards, has constantly reiterated the need for the US to be 'great' again.
"What I feel I take personally from the study," Corey told us, "is that we should settle for things being good. If you just go around saying 'God is good', the worst thing that can happen is that someone asks you why their mother died of cancer then. But no one gets blown up.
"If a Jihadist went into a market place and announced God was good, I think most people would smile and nod in agreement, especially in the Middle East, or Kentucky."[1]
Similarly, Corey was concerned that Trump's use of the word made for a heightened expectation.
"Do you know anybody's life that is really great? I bet not even Beyonce thinks her life is that great. Most people I know would settle for alright. 'How's your life?' 'It's alright'.
"I say: make America alright again."
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Where they had that Bowling Green massacre
