UnNews:PETA Boycotts Wienerschnitzel
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
19 June 2008
Irvine, CA Responding to a protest by PETA, Bill Chott, CEO of Wienerschnitzel Restaurant Group urged restaurant goers to "Try our new sandwich! It's yummy!."
PETA issued a written statement; "This is a blatent disregard for animal rights." Many people however, headed to Wienerschnitzel stores to order the "Last Great Wienerschnitzel Sandwich" meal for $2.99. Included in the meal is; a small coke, a small fries, & a small Wienerschnitzel. Chott continued; "At Wienerschnitzel, we promise to push the boundaries of taste with food that's tasty to the tongue and stretches the imagination and what better way to do so than to serve a REAL Wienerschnitzel?!" He added; "Children love them because they are cute and cuddly, parents love them because they are high in protein!"
"We've chosen this as a viable option to serving corn dogs." said Chott. "Corn you see, is a vegetable, and Vegetarians are unsportsmanlike-corn can't get up and run away from a combine! But a Wienerschnitzel can! Thus, Wienerschnitzel restaurants hope to demonstrate both good sportsmanship AND a hearty meal to the world."
Stunned PETA representatives were revived w/smelling salts, given 1 mg of Ativan, and sent to bed early.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Adam Bein "That's what I call a sandwich Wienerschnitzel!"" Orange County Herald, June 19th, 2008