UnNews:Old man yells at cloud

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Monday, August 29th, 2022

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- An older citizen, A. S. (83) was seen today yelling at a cloud after running out of the nursing home. He got a heart attack just a few minutes later. Our reporter approached the old man to ask him a few questions, but the man pulled out a knife and started screaming some unintelligible words. "HUHDUNWINIUYBSYAUIDWGHDYUWIDJUIOWHFUYHWKOPAHUSDHYHGTRFRWDEWBEIDN", old man says.

Looks like the old man is very angry.

"To be fair, the cloud started it", a witness said for the UnNews. "A. S. was just going to the shop to buy candies for his granddaughter, as he told me." We also tried interviewing the cloud, but it had nothing to say about this situation.

"He just lifted up his stick and started making circles in the air while screaming that he will eliminate all the Russian spy satellites one day. There were some people chanting, other people were trying to calm the man down, but they did not succeed.", says another witness.

The two nurses in the nursing home "Happy House" were shocked by the old man's behavior. "We couldn't stop him", nurses say. "Froth started going out of his mouth, and his eyes were slowly turning red. We let him out. We were fearing for our lives". Another nurse, which was around A. S. when he suddenly stood up to have a fight with the cloud said: "None of our other seniors in the home has done something like this yet. This is unprecedented and shocking for every nursing home. I am expecting a lot of nurses quitting from their jobs."

The cloud.

We have asked the director of the nursing home to say something about this situation. He responded:
"This move was highly unprofessional by our staff, but I totally understand the problem. From now on, we will implement a new system that will test the current mental health of every newcomer to our nursing home. This seems like the best solution that is good for us, our workers and our nursing home's public image."

A. S. is now in the hospital, recovering from the heart attack. We have interviewed him:

  • Interviewer: "Are you feeling good?"
  • A. S: "Yes, I am."
  • I: "What do you think about the incident with the cloud?"
  • A: "I was one hundred percent right. The cloud just started spitting out nonsense and insulting me. He had no arguments to respond with anymore."
  • I: "What has happened since then?"
  • A: "They have kicked me out from the nursing home. I didn't have to pay anything for this month."
  • I: "Where are you going to live?"
  • A: "I am going back to my family. I don't think they're very happy with that, but they wholeheartedly accepted the offer."

We also asked the doctor about the patient's state. "He is quickly recovering and will be in a fresh state in just a few days.", the doctor said.