UnNews:NASA trip to Uranus called off
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
10 February 2007
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - NASA project development managers have called off a proposed trip to Uranus after they learned that the word is the name of a planet, rather than a reference to a portion of the human anatomy and that it is not pronounced as they had supposed.
The managers, nine out of ten of whom are homosexual, had confused the planet’s name, which is pronounced “Your-in-us,” for “anus,” which is pronounced “your-A-nuss.”
All systems were go, when the expedition was misunderstood to require anal probes, rather than rockets. “We thought we were being asked to prepare for a cosmic enema of sorts,” Space Cadet Roger Manning, of the Jupiter team, confessed. “When we found out that Washington wanted us to go to Uranus--well, let’s just say that interest fagged--I mean, flagged.”
Much so-called potty humor, popular among adolescents and Unnews readers, derives from the deliberate confusion of the pronunciations of “Uranus” and “anus,” actor-comedienne Robin Williams explained. As an example, Williams cited a line in the Steven Spielberg movie E. T. After the protagonist, Eliot, admits that E. T. has returned, correcting Steve, who refers to the extraterrestrial as a goblin, saying “he’s a spaceman,” Tyler says, “Ooh! An extraterrestrial! Where’s he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?” “The anus is always good for a belly laugh,” Williams said. “I reference mine every time I do stand-up comedy.”
“Fortunately, that’s rare,” Williams’ fellow actor-comedienne, Jim Carey, chimed in.
The NASA project development managers, however, are known for their lack of a sense of humor and see all “jokes” about a homosexual’s or anyone else’s anus as being “homophobic,” which indicates that their confusion over the proposed space mission’s destination was actual and sincere rather than feigned or disingenuous.
“They take things like that very seriously,” Williams said. “I doubt there will be any space flights in the near future unless astronomers name an asteroid ‘Sodom’ or ‘Gomorrah’ or maybe ‘West Hollywood.’”
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