UnNews:Misleading articles found on Uncyclopedia
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
27 February 2013
This is a grave day in the annals of Uncyclopedia. Today, it has come to the attention of the UnNews crew that several misleading articles have found their way to our proud site. We here at UnNews would like to take this opportunity to apologise for any inconvenience this might have caused our readers. We feel deeply about truth. So deeply, indeed, that several of our fearless reporters have pledged to fight tooth and nail the rot that somehow has managed to seep into the very fabric of Uncyclopedia - the encyclopedia that originally was meant to be true, righteous, and upholding of all the good and wholesome values that make life worth living. The same values that make Western Civilization what it is: family, a new car, TV, conformity, perversions in closet but exercised all the same. We will not rest until the traitors to our cause have been nailed to a cross (some of us take this figuratively, others don't). Be warned, you scum: if we ever catch you writing articles such as this, this, this, this and this, you will have no peace in Heaven, Hell or on Earth. We will hunt you down and crush your spirit in public humiliation. We will tell your parents how naughty you are. We will, too. This is not an empty threat. Be warned!
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Note to all the news editors: the site will need to shape up. We cannot leave these corrupted monsters on their own devices, spreading their filth across all Internet. We at UnNews are trusted people with perfect taste, the cream of the cream. You all know what to do. Do it - and do it now.
