UnNews:Mexico Declares Seis De Mayo a National Holiday
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
6 May 2006
Because of the popularity of Cinco de Mayo, Mexico has declared a new national holiday on May 6th - Seis De Mayo. Polls show that all Mexicans think Cinco de Mayo is "the shit", so lawmakers decided to extend it for another day. The government decided to pass this in response to the millions of Mexicans that get completely trashed and are not functional the next day. It is a intended to be a national day of recovery. Since only 4% of businesses opened on May 6, 2005, the Mexican government decided that it would be in the best interest of the people to get an extra day off.
"Mexico also has become upset with Americans who celebrate Cinco De Mayo for absolutely no reason at all, other than to get drunk off their asses," said Juan Suarez, a Mexican resident. "These people obviously don't care about Mexico, yet they use our holiday as an excuse to party. It's just not right. And now that it's been extended, it's good for Mexico, but the US should stick with its own holidays. Damn copycats."
An unidentified Mexican government official told us, "We hope that the citizens will enjoy this. I'd like to remind everyone that there will not be a Seis de Mayo, so enjoy this extra day of goodness."
Anti-Mexican protestors along with communists believe in a conspiracy that the holiday was extended because of lobbying by Corona Beer Inc. "They just want to sell more beer, that's all." stated a tripping Mexican Monk. We contacted Corona and they declined to comment.
Source[edit | edit source]
- "Cinco De Mayo celebrated ... sort of" AP, May 07, 2006