UnNews:Matt Damon announced to play Robin

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

28 August 2013

Matt Damon in one of his most famous roles as an army guy or something.

In a surprising move, it has been announced that Matt Damon will play the role of Robin in the Superman v. Batman movie despite no such role being announced beforehand.

Previously, Ben Affleck had been announced as the new Batman despite the fact that his only movies to date has been of poorly acted roles in blockbusters, rom-coms and various Kevin Smith movies and it has been suggested that the Damon announcement was made in the hope to counter any negative reception that Affleck received.

"Um, Yeah; I'm excited to play this Robin fellow, whoever he is. I'm sure that I'll give it my best and be nominated for an award or something. Yeah. I like Batman," said Matt Damon in a press conference.

Reception has been surprisingly positive, one person said that he "likes Matt Damon", another had said that "he was funny", one even said that "he was like the best actor alive."

The only negative response has been from some person who said that "Matt Damon is the worst actor alive, all he does is shitty comedies and shitty dramas like "The Bourne Identity" and he's like mocking us in the face by announcing that he's going to play Robin. I swear Hollywood has gotten grade A stupid."

UnNews has this to say about the negative comment. "Shut up Matt Damon hater, it's obvious you don't know about Matt Damon, if you did you'd be kissing Matt Damon's ass right now, why don't you go back to Mattdamonhatertown and stay there you Matt Damon hater."

It is expected that Affleck and Damon will have exceptional screen chemistry alongside the guy who played Superman in the Man of Steel; both have similar tastes in and even appeared in each other's movies.

"Yeah I like Ben, he's cool. We did weed once, it was amazing. See this movie when it comes out in 2015 y'all," said Matt Damon at his press conference.

It's also expected that his performance as Robin will blow away any prior portrayal of the Boy Wonder ever known to mankind and, along with Affleck, will be one of the major draws of the movie. He's cool like that you know, he'll be there standing all cool with his red suit saying stuff like "I'm Robin" and he'll look awesome throwing his batarangs and whatever gadgets Robin has alongside Batman and people will praise his acting as brilliant. Because that's what he is, brilliant.

Sources

• Justin Kroll "Ben Affleck Is the New Batman" Variety, August 23, 2013