UnNews:Kamala Harris Defeats Donald Trump, Becomes 47th President of USA
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November 6, 2024
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia, in an alternate universe and timeline
“This is fake news!!!”
The United States of America has elected its first ever female President. Kamala Harris defeated Donald Trump to become the 47th President of the USA.
The Associated Press called the race for Harris early Wednesday morning after declaring victory for her from a safe distance.
“This is the greatest political movement of all time,” Harris said in his victory speech. “We have a country that needs help, people who need help, an environment which needs help, and me, I need help.
"It was the voting women of the USA who made this possible. We had a chance to put a woman in the White House and we did! All American women should be proud of their efforts. This truly is an accomplishment. Pat yourselves on the back-we did this together!
In choosing Harris on Tuesday, tens of millions of American women also chose to reject the barriers which impede American women.
"I will increase regulations on disco dancing, increase the federal bureaucracy, and do away with those massive tax cuts that only benefited the elderly (whom we will be culling, after all, this land is for the young, not for old farts!). States will continue to tax tips for service workers as well as tax overtime work at a higher percentage than straight time and we'll cut Social Security benefits to the handicapped, elderly, and orphans." adding; "But wait, that's just the beginning!".
- Adam 'Shenanigans' Bein "This is a nice recipe for Butterscotch Fondue" Fondue Recipes, November 8, 2024
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