UnNews:Irish Duckists Storm The Beaches of Derry and Antrim
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16 February 2007
WTF Man?[edit | edit source]
While leader of the duckists in Ireland, Seán Fearon seemingly agreed to sort things out with the T.S.R yesterday, they abandoned these plans and instead captured Derry and Antrim, leaving the leader of the T.S.R, Siobhan,and the T.S.R seriously pissed off, so they went and captured Tyrone.
Details of The Assault[edit | edit source]
Irish Duckists have stormed the northern beaches of Lough Derg today seizing immediate control of Derry and Antrim. This radical assault has strengthend the movement of the Duckist troops in the north. Naval ports and training academys for ducks have been established all over South Armagh for immediate training of all recruits.
The assault was lead by Niall McCann, but was carried out by Seán Fearon, so just to make it clear:
Seán Fearon is responsible for this assault and all of the thousands of deaths, O.K? Not Niall, Seán, so if anyone is lookin' to assassinate anyone: ASSASSINATE SEÁN FEARON.
The Aftermath[edit | edit source]
In response to this assault The Sheep's Revolt have seized control of Tyrone by conducting a massive aerial invasion, Omagh has been reduced to rubble. Questions have been raised as to how the sheep got the equipment to perform such a thing, Iran, Russia, Iraq, Kazakhstan?, North Korea and China have said The US supplied them, the US have no comment.....
Tensions are high as the fighting intensifies in the north, however The Church of Duck seems relitavily calm about the recent happenings. Cormac Brannigan, the current dope had this to say:
"Eh, I've seen better, anyway, I'm richer than them (yay!) so TAKE THAT!!! swish!*"
People now wonder if he is worthy of the intellectual power of the duck or if he was high at the time.
As the war continues to rage the Duckists now look more and more powerful and the vast majority of the sheep army have submitted to Duckist demands. the reason for this is because the main duckist export is lamb and the financial advisor for the duckists has said it wants to boost the economy.
The Current Situation[edit | edit source]
The T.S.R has said that they want to meet Seán Fearon now or they will bayt' the living shite out of him!
The Church of Duck have called for a meeting, and have shipped half their army to Cork in the south of Ireland. Duckists have called for the Church of Duck to surrender Ireland peacfully, or pay the price...
We will report on this story as it develops