UnNews:Heartless bastards make HILARIOUS Steve Irwin-based UnNews story
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
4 September 2006
OUTBACK, Australia -- While much of the world's first thoughts were of condolences for the family of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin upon hearing news of his untimely death, Uncyclopedians rushed to their computers and quickly penned hilarious articles about how his death was all his own fault. These heartless bastards went out of their way to further heap coals of shame upon the already deeply-grieved family of the world-famous entertainer. "Hey, it's what we do," said an anonymous admin who's never lost anyone he has ever cared for, getting nods from a bunch of Uncyclopedians who have. "What did you expect, respectfulness?" The admin then broke into five full minutes of maniacal laughter before banning a n00b for writing a brilliant piece of prose that made the average quality of articles at Uncyclopedia look like utter tripe.
An Australian spokesperson was highly offended at the apparently callous indifference of UnNews' staff to this cruel, exploitative joke. "Not only is anyone who writes this form of humor cruel, but anyone who laughs at this vulgarity is ..." he at this point broke into a giggling fit. It is assumed that he remembered a particularly humorous point of the article, as he could not contain his giggling and had to be restrained. A new spokesperson, who hadn't read the post, simply summed up the overall Australian attitude toward Uncyclopedians' willingness to laugh at an Aussie's death, saying only "Bastards!"
The spokesperson reminded everyone that Irwin had been a fantastic bloke and a sincere and enthusiastic populariser of the love of nature who had worked his arse off and spent considerable money in the cause of conservation, pausing only to suppress sniggers when someone shouted a tasteless joke about pissed-off angels with a brave man's thumb up their aaaaaarses.
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