UnNews:HeadOn Manufacturer issues Vaigra challenge
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
14 June 2009
San Francisco, California - The manufacturers of HeadOn, the homeopathic (aka placebo) treatment for headaches, have issued a challenge to both Pfizer and AstraZeneca to prove that their erectile disfunction (ED) products (Viagra and Cialis) are more effective than their new product, HardOn.
Quoting independent studies, HeadOn spokesperson Richard Head said "Our product is made with 100% natural organic products and when used as directed provides total satisfaction." The product is simple to use. Said Head, "For best results, simply apply liberally to the flaccid area and rub into the skin with a stroking motion. For better results, employ someone to apply it for you."
The Consumer Association confirmed that HardOn is "likely to assist with moderate cases of ED", and commented that the main ingredient, olive oil, was unlikely to have significant side effects, except for a post-coital desire for pizza. In blind consumer tests, users had commented on the pleasant flavor of HardOn, compared with the market-leading OTC treatment, KY Jelly.
They recommended a warning label should be added, though. A spokesperson for CA said "If you experience stiffness lasting more than an hour, seek professional help. An oriental massage parlor or the area in your town known for crack purchases is probably the best place to try."
Speaking after the San Francisco product launch, Richard Head reported that another product, aimed at the lesbian market had been withdrawn following indifferent pre-launch consumer testing. Said Head, "StrapOn showed some promise but this marketplace was already too crowded. And in any case, the batteries kept falling out."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Headon" ', June 4, 2009
- "["http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HeadOn" HeadOn]" ', June 2, 2009