UnNews:Greenpeace releases new line of Green Pieces to help spread vision of peace
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
31 August 2008
MIAMI, Florida - Following demands from Greenpeace members across the world for a much more aggressive peace spreader, to help pacify the tougher locations that won't give in to the views of world peace, and environmentalism from earlier in the month, Greenpeace has finally agreed to begin construction of a new line of 'Green Pieces'. These weapons will give Greenpeace members world-wide the ability to pacify the much more aggressive countries across the world.
Greenpeace could not be happier with the deal for the weapon. "Soon, every country in the world can know what peace and environmentalism can do, no matter what the cost may be." Says Greenpeace spokesman Katherine Gonzales. "Before we were only able to pacify countries that were already decently pacified, but now with weapons at our disposal we can tackle the real tough ones."
The green piece line will include pistols, heavier guns, machine guns, and of course the all necessary RPG launcher. These improvements will help Greenpeace members easily avoid diseases, and any unwashed or unclean people in the countries they must pacify. The line of duty for a Greenpeace member has always been a tough one, when the hostile countries didn't take to well to the invading peacekeepers, they would attack, and thus Greenpeace would suffer heavy casualties. But now that is all changing. Greenpeace can now peacefully pacify the countries who don't believe in environmentalism or safety.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Charles William Johnson "Greenpeace's new line of Green Pieces have shown great progress in Greenpeace's view of peace." Greenpeace Monthly, August 30, 2008