UnNews:God found dead at age 4,920,439,873 years
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
18 January 2008
LEOMINSTER, Massachusetts -- God was found dead at age 4,920,439,873 years. He was found lying on a black cloud in fancy underwear. Rumors are that he was writing a statement in which he would plead guilty of the torment that he has caused to the world. These rumors confirm the hypothesis that he died "out of guilt".
A multi-handed / single-eyes woman, believed to be his new mistress, said that dating God for 40,314 years was a great experience but that at the end "it was starting to become somehow boring". The woman added that God's ability to disappear made it difficult to have decent discussions with Him.
Our representative in Hell, interviewed one of the residents who is participating in the hell-wide celebrations. "This is the day we have always waited for. God has sent us to Hell. Let him go to Hell then". According to our representative, Satan refused to comment on the issue due to his respect of an old friendship, although broken more than 2000 years ago. He simply said that he will not say that he is happy, because if he says so, people will start explaining it in their own ways, and it will turn again to the benefit of God. He concluded thought that a new age will begin.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- D.D. Mac Toy "Divine News World-Wide Co." Elbow Macaroni, Jan 08, 2008
- Gal Morgan "Inter-Galaxical Shit and Stuff" International House of Pancakes, Jan 08, 2008