UnNews:Gaddafi killed in Libya; Botox industry in crisis
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
21 October 2011
SIRTE, Libya -- As Libya and the civilized world embark upon a celebratory orgy of backslapping and congratulations over the death of occasional ally and long-term foe (depending on the prevailing state of the global oil industry) Muammar Gaddafi, Botox producers worldwide are reeling from the projected loss of 70% of their annual income.
"It's a real concern for us", a spokesman for Allergan said today. "Sure, people in the Middle East are celebrating the demise of a tyrannical despot, but here in California we have a lot of people whose future employment prospects are now uncertain as a result. I only wish people would consider all the consequences before they embark on such dramatic courses as seeking democracy and freedom".
Spokeswoman for the League of Facially Mutilated Celebrities (LFMC) Priscilla Presley said that the LFMC was "...saddened by the sudden loss of a shiny-faced colleague, but we remain optimistic that the Libyan National Transitional Council will see fit to release his remaining Weapons of Mass Botox™ to NATO for redistribution to the needy, such as Megan Fox and Mickey Rourke".
Gaddafi's body is understood to be currently being held in Misrata, awaiting recycling into plastic bags, picnic cutlery and small trinkets bearing the logo "My parents overthrew a despotic military dictatorship and all they brought me was this lousy badge".