UnNews:Ferrari reveal new credit crunch car

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

17 March 2009

Ferrari reveal car of the credit crunched future.

Ferrari have announced that they will be launching a more affordable sports car. Ferrari usually make cars that cost £100,000+ but there new model the Ferrari CS100 (CS is believed to stand for CheapSkate) will cost £11,000. That's nearly 10% of the cost of their cheapest model so far.

A Ferrari spokesman said earlier today in an exclusive interview "The CS100 will not have a massive V8 or V10 like the rest of the range but a more economical 1.2 litre 4 cylinder Fiat Panda engine and the Eco Friendly model will use an actual Panda to power it. To reduce costs buyers will have the option to have the car with or without wheels and tires. Also instead of using Ferrari engineers to make the car a party of Chimps will construct the vehicle." We are uncertain when this car will be put into production but an estimated release date of June 2038 has been announced.

The popular Top Gear television team were not at all excited about this car and didn't even want to say a single word to us about it. Apart from James May said "Cock" when he found out that we had spilt his cup of Tea.

Test Day 1

A test team was spotted at the Bedfordshire testing ground Millbrook. But unfortunately they had forgotten to bring a set of wheels to the test track and once a set had been "borrowed" from a car in the car park one of the engineers had locked the keys inside the vehicle. The day was not complete failure though as the test driver discovered that the windscreen could be removed from the outside by leaning on it by applying a small amount of pressure to one of the corners and a lap was completed of the Alpine circuit before the testing centre closed.

A senior spokesman commented on the days test and said "Before we were locked out and before we had got the wheel situation sorted we conducted a series of test including the amount of pressure needed to turn the key and whether the cup holders were big enough to hold a medium Cappuccino cup from the vending machine inside Millbrooks catering facility." And he reported that all tests were a success and that not a lot of pressure was needed.

A second day of testing has been booked for the CS100 where acceleration and top speed will also be tested. But official figures have been released.

Power - 47 BHP

0-60 - 21.3 Seconds

Top Speed - 76 MPH

Torque - 38 ft-lb. at 3450 RPM

Fuel Capacity - 12 Litres due to jerry can being used as a fuel tank. A larger 20 Litre fuel tank is available but you have to buy the bucket from B&Q before the car is made.