UnNews:Earth porn about to exit the Solar System

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8 December 2011

Aliens like blue magazines as it goes with their complexions.

Houston, Texas, USA -- NASA has confirmed that the porn-laden Voyeur 1 is about to leave the Solar System for 'space purgatory'.

Part of NASA's secret 'emission possible' space programme, Voyeur 1 was launched in 1977 to see if aliens were addicted to pornography as much as sexually awkward teenage boys back on Earth. Scientists filled the spacecraft with platinum copies of Playboy, Penthouse, gold-plated sex toys and imperishable leather goods to answer that important question: How Much Money Can We Make Sending Pornography to Other Star Systems?

Back in 1977 there wasn't much choice in what you could send to Extra Terrestrials, confirmed retired scientist/sex therapist Hugh Hefner. NASA vetoed the real hard stuff for a later exploitation mission that was code named Deep Throat Space but that was later cancelled and reassigned as part of the U.S. military program. We also sent Voyeur 2 with a more broadly based definition of sexual entertainment material but it got stuck in a perpetual orbit around Uranus.

NASA say Voyeur 1 is still sending back signals to Earth. Some are just gibberish but they do receive messages like I hope to get shot of my load by the time I reach the rest of the Milky Way, the mysterious No one understands me out here Dave and finally I need a girlfriend.

Professor Hefner adds:

I wouldn't want to be Voyeur 1. It must be very frustrating for a sexually-programmed machine. Let's hope the aliens find it and then we can get some really good marketing data about what the non-Earth galaxy think of human sexual tastes, well up to 1977 at least.

Sources

• Staff "Voyager 1 about to head into cosmic purgatory" Daily Telegraph, December 07, 2011