UnNews:Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes
Wednesday, January 15, 2025
Washington, DC -- After orchestrating a landmark peace deal between Israel and Hamas to end the War in Gaza, President-elect Donald J. Trump was awarded three Nobel Peace Prizes, one for each of the wars he will end: the Gaza War, the Russia-Ukrainian War, and the War on Christmas.
"After a fruitful conversation with Mr. Trump, we have decided to withdraw all our troops," said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin "Habibi" Netanyahu, who was seen sobbing and caressing several large red welts—as if made by a wooden paddle—on his rotund buttocks. "All glory to the Islamic resistance!" the battered PM added.
One of Trump's new Nobel peace medals had reportedly been recycled from a previous medal given to Barack Hussein Obamna, after having been found sticking out of a garbage bin just outside Obama's mansion in Martha's Vineyard.
According to insiders, Donald J. Trump insisted that the Gaza peace deal be made before his inauguration, as breaking news from the Middle East had reportedly interrupted his favorite reruns of Matlock, the original one, not the woke reboot on Paramount Plus with that hag Kathy Bates.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Robert J. Goldston "How Donald Trump can make history and win 3 Nobel Peace Prizes" Fox News, January 3, 2025
- Servet Günerigök "Trump says 'epic' cease-fire deal reached in Gaza" Anadolu Agency, January 15, 2025