UnNews:Democrats Win American Parliamentary Election

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

8 November 2006

Gor bless 'er! Ain't she regal!

Washington, DC -- With the ballot boxes closed and most of the votes counted, it seems highly likely that the Democratic Party have gained the majority of seats in the American House of Commons. At time of press, President George W. Bush was reported to be headed to Buckingham Palace to offer his resignation to the Queen. It is unclear whether he will retire from Parliament, or stay on as Leader of the Opposition. Sources close to the White House suggest that Bush will accept a seat in the Senate, becoming George W. Bush, 1st Baron Bush of Crawford and Baghdad.

'A lot of foreign news outlets have speculated that the new government will be lead by Hillary Clinton or Ted Kennedy,' said Harvard political analyst Solon Gravitas, 'Basically, this is based upon a misunderstanding of how the American Constitution works. Kennedy and Clinton are Senators, and as such cannot become president. This precedent dates back to the 1920s, when George V passed over Lord Norris when appointing the new Prime Minister following the death of Warren G. Harding. Instead, the job went to Calvin Coolidge. This precedent was confirmed in the 1960s, when John F. Kennedy's heir, Lyndon B. Johnson was obliged to disclaim his Earldom, and win election in a seat in the Commons before the Queen would confirm him in the role.'

If polling projections are accurate, the current Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition, Nancy Pelosi, will be summoned to the Palace to 'kiss hands' with the queen; a symbolic act indicating that the Queen has asked her to form Government.

Ms Pelosi will be the first female American President.

Sources

• A. A. Milne "A Changing of the Guard" Hundred Acre Woods Gazette, November 08, 2006

• Jack Monosyllable "Cop That! Yanks Give Whot For to Bushy!" The Sun, November 08, 2006