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UnNews:City Council Might Not Care

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Tuesday, October 25, 2022

'Sunday Papers Podcast' host and urges you to rub his belly.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — On Tuesday, the Los Angeles City Council voted 'No' on a $5 Million proposal that would have funded 80 new affordable housing units and transitional housing beds.  According to an official statement by city officials; "We don't give a shit!".

The housing effort comes as 20 more units are already in the pipeline have been cancelled.  In 2019, 40 units were denied. According to a 'Give-a-Shits' report assembled and presented by Greg Fitzsimmons, Podcast Host of 'Sunday Papers Podcast', a weekly news program which breaks down the supposedly-important news stories and adds context; regarding the city council, there was a ten-fold increase in 'We-Don't-Give-a-Shits' from 2018 to 2019 with a total of 240 units not receiving building permits.  "It's as if the City Government doesn't give a shit!" says Fitzsimmons.

During a Monday press conference, Mayor Rosemary West announced "Today, we bring forward a deliberate, unthoughtful, and overall unwise shift in strategies to refocus our plentiful city dollars toward fewer, permanent, and less affordable city housing." Mayor West was accompanied at the conference with High Council member Joseph 'Razzle-Dazzle' Stalin, Mayor Pro Tem 'Happy' Heinrich Himmler and Council Member Ivan the Terrible.  While leaving, West was seen to call to the people accompanying her, saying, "Tea at my house at 3 P.M.! You're all invited!".

Victims said the projects are examples of leveraging city money with state and federal funds to help build unaffordable housing instead of temporary housing for the poor. "Ya THINK?" retorted Terrible.  He and Himmler were seen slapping one another on the back and laughing.

"The more we build housing at expensive levels, including no permanent nor supportive housing, the more poor people cannot find housing."  Observed Greg Fitzsimmons.  "No one in Government is assisting citizens looking for housing right now. I'm starting to wonder if elected officials care!".

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