UnNews:Cheese addicts go crazy in English sun
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
9 June 2008
Gloucester, UK: Disturbing youtube videos are show a terrifying scene. Several cheese addicts chase a 8 lb Cloucester Cheese down a vertical hill. The Cheese is unreachable because falls at undeterminable, really fast speeds. Several were injured and sent to a hospital. The winner, the first to reach the bottom, got the mud covered piece of cheese. Nurses, Doctors, Psychologists and Psychiatrists determined that the cheese chasers had a disease known as Severely Deranged Cheese Addicts: SDCA. Unfortunately injury does not cure the SDCA.
At the event several vendors opened booths at the event selling cheese. The most popular booth though, was the CAA, or the "Cheese Addicts Anonymous". The CAA is hoping that they will be able to expand and receive more funds. In recent years, the CAA has been unsuccessful and has lost clients to cheese related deaths and has only had to successful and full recoveries from SDCA. A previous winner later joined the CAA. "I realized that I was a dip for chasing a piece of cheese down a vertical hill."
This year the winner was knocked out after eating to much cheese, falling down a almost vertical hill and being hit with a bottle of wine on the back of his neck. "He was grinning and covered with mud" said the head of the event, "It is an enjoyable experience. I enjoy watching men chase cheese down a vertical hill." Other's see the event differently. "It's cheese!" said a fun-hating local, "Why would you put your life in danger for it?"