UnNews:Captain America falls victim to Daylight Savings Time
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
12 March 2007
NEW YORK, NY -- Steve Rogers (aka "Captain America") was found dead today in his Manhattan apartment, in what is expected to be the first of many Daylight-Saving-Time-related deaths.
Neighbours were shocked to discover that Rogers, age 66, was the secret identity of the iconic American superhero. "I always thought he seemed very fit for someone his age, but Captain America? No way! To think I've been living across the hall from him all of these years, and I had no idea!"
Forensic experts believe that confusion over the early-onset of Daylight Saving Time may have resulted in an accidental overdose of Super-Soldier Serum, causing a fatal shock to his system. "This Super-Soldier Serum is some pretty powerful stuff anyway, but there was simply no way that he could survive a double dose at his age."
Recent reports from somewhat reliable sources report that Captain America may not be the only superhero affected by the change in Daylight Saving Time. Word is that Spiderman's Spidey Sense is now warning him of dangers which occurred up to an hour earlier, and there are rumours of other similar problems throughout the superhero community.
Captain America is survived by two goldfish and a cat named Bucky jr.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Comic hero Captain America dies" BBC, 8 March, 2007
- "US time switch set to save energy" BBC, 11 March, 2007