UnNews:Black Friday is here and sounding more racist then ever

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 November 2010

These guys aren't shoppers, they're thieves.

Wal-mart, USA & UK -- Black Friday is almost upon us, or at least by the time you read this it will be. Retailers have been getting into the Christmas - or Black Friday - spirit by charging their tasers and cattle prods, ready to deter manic shoppers, desperate to get their hands on the last Buzz Lightyear toy for their whining little child.

Everything is on sale, including crappy DS games for $7 that no one wants. Most of the stuff on sale is broken.We spoke to someone who did not want to be named who brought a hooker from a pimp who was doing a sale on his hoes and when I got her I mean they got her got her she was dead, later he spoke to the pimp and was sadly murdered but Nobody cares.

Meanwhile, Amazon is doing a Black Friday "ten second sale" on good stuff and not-so-good stuff. It's only £1 for the new SuBo album and £0.01 for the new Take That. The latter sold in seconds so the normal shopper won't get anything. To keep up with the US, England has put lots of stuff on sale, including Katie Price's new book which was on sale for just £3. It sold 0 copies.

On the U.K. side, the British have been jolly well polite about the whole Black Friday event. Books and CD's have been selling out and no one was fighting because everyone got bored and went to Scotland, where the only things on sale were 30 can iron bru boxes and Braveheart DVDs.

Sources

• The Telegraph "Are you ready for Black Friday bargains" The Telegraph, November 25, 2010