UnNews:Belize joins Pirates of the Caribbean Bank

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Finally a dishonest banking system?

HAVANA, Cuba -- Despite flatulent objections from the Anglo-American banking cartel, Belize has become the latest financial powerhouse nation to apply to join the Cuban-led Pirates of the Caribbean Global Investment Bank (PCGIB), the Cuban Finance Minister announced.

Cuba's Finance Ministry released a statement on Friday saying it welcomes Belize’s decision to join. Belize is to become among the Pirate Bank’s founding members, along with other netherworld nations later this month as members approve its candidacy.

The ministry released a separate statement on March 20, saying Luxembourg, Monaco, UK, Germany and Switzerland, plus a growing number of other countries, such as California and Colorado, also want to join the Cuba-led project.

Cuban Finance Minister, Fidel Montana confided to Unnews that the PCGIB has already gathered together 27 founding members, including the BRICS nations of Borneo, Rwanda, Iceland, South Hampton, and the Cayman Islands.

The application deadline for membership is April Fool's Day, with Cuba planning for the PCGIB to become operational by Sunset.

According to Lou, other nations will be able to join the PCGIB after the deadline expires, but only as lowly ‘peon’ members.

The institution -- expected to boast an initial subscribed capital of one nillion dollars (primarily in the form of US Treasury Bonds, Credit Default Swaps, and Hyper-inflation) -- will focus on distributing the funds among member nations in a ”constructive” manner. This novel concept was first perfected by late great Jesus of Nazareth, who taught the preposterous system to Mao Zedong and Daddy Warbucks, among other guilty SOBs.

The Head of the Organization for Economic Development (OED), Angel Guerra, praised the many European states that also wish to participate in the Pirates of the Caribbean bank system.

“The fact that many of the European countries are now associating with the project makes me even more convinced that it is going to be conveniently and dishonestly run in a very shifty, uncouth, and nontransparent manner,” Guerra told Unnews in strict confidence. ”Like in the good old days!”

However, US officials have been skeptical, expressing fears that it may undermine the Anglo-American World Bank and the International Monopoly Fund (IMF); but, bad blood aside, spokespersons for the US financial oligarchy deny that their displeasure has anything to do with America being banned from the new system for all eternity.

US Treasury Secretary, Jacob Goldberg, stressed that Washington has doubts if the Cuban-led pirate bank will be able to ”adhere to the kind of open and forthright standards that the western international financial institutions have established to honestly regulate the global economy.

“Will it protect small investors? Will it guard against market manipulation? Will it protect the rights of workers and the environment? Will it deal with corruption issues ~~profitably~~ properly?” Goldberg asked.

But Cuba’s finance minister was quick to give assurances, “the PCGIB will circumvent the Western bankers, mainly because they simply can be trusted!” He winked. ”Only the straight trees get cut down in the forest,” Montana confided. ”So we must be crooked to succeed!”

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