UnNews:Bahamas tops medal tally

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17 August 2008

Bahamas Tops Medal Tally!

Celebrations are underway in the Bahamas after it was announced that they have topped the 2008 Olympic medal tally.

Bahamain President, Hubert Ingraham, made the announcement this morning at 7am to a group gathered in Nassau. During the conference Ingraham stated he had no idea what sports they had received medals in, and no idea who the athletes were.

"I have no idea who these anonymous heroes are, in fact I was planning on skipping the whole Olympics bullshit and watching my Family Guy DVDs, but my stupid wife said I should at least keep an eye on the Medal Tally just in case some retard reporter asked me about it."

The population of the tiny group of islands was largely, until then, completely unconcerned with the Olympics and more concerned with sunbathing, banging hot backpacker chicks, and drinking rum.

Australia, the country previously on top of the list, has subsequently declared war on the Bahamas. However, the general population does not support the move, as there are currently 51,236 slutty Australian backpackers subathing and drinking rum in the Bahamas.

A week long festival is planned in the capital, Nassau. Extra backpackers and rum are currently being flown in.

2008 Olympic Medal Tally - Don't tell the Bahamas its been adjusted by head of population

Slutty backpackers heading to the Bahamas

Sources

• iwebie "Olympic Medal Tally LIES!" iwebie, August 16, 2008