UnNews:Apple Launches New Bulimia Product Line
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
10 March 2006
Following on from its annual product revelations; namely the iPod boombox (iBoom) - Apple has subsequently announced the release of a brand new exciting product: named the iVom, this modified iPod can give you the irresistible urge to regurgitate your previous meal within ten minutes.
The new product is a concerted effort designed at attracting the attention of trendy youngsters aspiring to the fashion industry, and of course, overweight teenagers However, many are lobbying against the new product, claiming that teenagers may in fact damage their oesphagus by using the product.
Despite adversity, over 5 million iVom's have been sold, many of which have been ordered in Germany as part of the planned Oktoberfest celebrations - and it is even rumored that top celebrities such as Cher and Sharon Osbourne have purchased one.
At a recent showcase, Jobs demoed the product and gave the following quote;
"Just before I came to you, I ate a quarter pounder with cheese, that was about ten minutes ago, now, I'm REALLY excited to be demoing this to you; all I do is just pop the headphones in and shortly..."
(Jobs face begins to wince and contort)
"I can feel it coming" (ack) "now..."
(begins to projectile vomit uncontrollably for what appears to be 20 seconds)
"aah, and as you can see, I have in fact successfully recycled an entire meal, allowing me a far better control over my calorie intake, without needing to restrict what I eat".
Many were in fact disgusted by Jobs' display, but none could discount the beneficial effects of this new invention, again citing Apple's highly innovative engineers.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- AOP Newswires "Apple Conference Dates" UnNews, March 10, 2006