UnNews:'Late Show' throws David Letterman in dumpster
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
23 May 2015
NEW YORK CITY -- After 33 years as the Late Show host, David Letterman was thrown out just hours after the legendary show's final episode.
Moving trucks arrived at 53rd Street near the historic Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City on Thursday, May 21, according to CBS Vice President of Replacements Josh Earnest. Making room for Stephen Colbert's takeover, Letterman’s famous skyline backdrop, desk, and several chairs got the boot. Letterman was reportedly sitting in one of the chairs.
"Out with the old, in with the new," said Earnest. "TV is a fast-paced medium. We told Dave he had to leave immediately after his final broadcast, but he fell asleep in the chair behind his desk--what used to be his desk. You snooze, you lose."
"They didn't do this to Johnny Carson," said Letterman's assistant Phillip Balm. "They let Johnny appear on Letterman's show twice before they threw him out. They should at least have given Dave a couple of guest spots on Stephen's show before tossing him in the trash."
When asked his opinion of Letterman, Colbert said, "When he hosted the show, I thought of him as a well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot. Now, he's well intentioned, poorly informed, no status garbage. Hollywood is the belly of the beast, and Letterman was the gap between the beast's teeth. It's time he got flossed."
When told Late Night is filmed in New York City and not Hollywood, Colbert said, "Hollywood isn't a place, it's a state of mind."
Late Thursday night, an apparent long-time Letterman fan snuck the homeless former talk show host out of the Dumpster. Letterman is currently available at auction on Ebay.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Staff "David Letterman's Late Show Set Thrown in Dumpsters Hours After Final Episode" U.S. Weekly, May 21, 2015