Trade Cards Online
“It's already 3 weeks and the latest set isn't even here yet”
– A disgruntled cheapie
“Go play IRL, it's better”
– The common person
Trade Cards Online is an F-Rank shitty trading card simulator which no respectable card game player should probably use. If you see anyone using this site and enjoying it, tell him to run away from Earth or all of us will be fucked. It's only for budgetfags, Indians, Singaporeans, Poles and all sorts of faggots who have no purpose other than fucking you up on the site. And if someone hates you enough to fuck you over, have fun seeing this notice:
Overview[edit | edit source]
Trade Cards Online is created by Clemente Zamora, a Ghey Buddhist who has the programming and web designing intelligence of a 10 year old. True to his mental age, his sitework is similar to a website project made by a third grader, and his web design is close to a third grader's web design too. Here's a brilliant example of his beautiful web design, including A Well Made word filter that is so hilariously bad that it makes you want to rape dogs. Triggering this filter gets you filtered with:
You have used an offensive or unacceptable word in your text. This is not allowed on our site.
If you publish any inapropritate content on our site, you will be expelled from it and banned for life without any warnings. This includes any non-word fabricated to bypass our detection system, like f*ck. And it also applies to any text that may be abusive, insulting, derogatory, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening, sexually-oriented or that may violate any applicable laws.
Now this filter doesn't even censor biological words like Penis, Boobs and Vagina, but censors "Noob" or "Screw". How in the hell is "Noob" even used in a word filter? Can't be unless for joke purposes. This is far beyond the worst form of Faggotry we had ever seen.
And the second thing about his beautiful web design, goes for the fact that his shuffling system does not work. His shuffling system uses java and basically means that you don't draw key cards while your opponent draws everything possible to destroy you. The shuffling system is called a "TCO shuffle" and literally means that you don't get the stuff you need while your opponent gets everything he wants. This is far beyond stupid and you really need to play in the site to know about it. And it's best you don't because you will pull your hair off. And due to a flaw in his beautiful web design, stacked cards literally start to fly around the dueling table and if the card lands in the opponent's side of the table it doesn't move.
Thirdly his servers are basically built on ghetto servers, they go down every time during 00:00 AM to 01:00 PM in Spain, where the servers are. You will not believe how the site goes down before you see it. If you are playing in the dueling room, the room will literally have 0 response (Not Joking) and you cannot escape the dueling room without getting stuck for around 1 hour. If not, the site will begin to load like molasses crawling uphill. If you are in a dueling room, good luck because there's no way to get around this bullshit aside for wasting 30 minutes of your life if you have any. Even Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica's servers are 100000 times more stable than Trade Cards Online's.
After that, there is also a minimal time where you HAVE to stay in the dueling room. This has no purpose other than to stop hyper-rushers, annoy you with shitty trolls, disabling you from changing decks when the server does not change your deck and anyone who wants to troll you can troll you pretty much for a good amount of time. Don't even try to X out because the server will trap you inside the room.
And finally, there's a premium service that allows you to lock decks and allow you to make your own userpage. Please for god's sake don't pay them because it's not worth it. You won't pay a crappy site made by a faggot with the intelligence of a third grader any money anyway. However, you can get these points for free, and that's when you fix their database, have people whore your decks or dream cards, or become so big of a meta troll that you exceed everyone in the game in terms of troll power. You can get them by uploading sets, but their uploading system never works and only seeks to rape your sanity.
The Userbase[edit | edit source]
The userbase of Tradecardsonline is consisted of culturally blinded Indians and Pakistanis, Romanians (You better respect them or they will kill you), people who want you to have no fun on this site, Weeaboo wannabes and cancerous faggots who want nothing more than you getting banned in this site. If you see a person there, 99% of the time they will be playing weeaboo card games like Vanguard, Battle Spirits and Duel Masters. Nobody uses it to play Magic: The Gathering or Pokemon because the shuffles basically make these games unplayable and they don't upload sets.
The first thing you will notice when you go to tco is the meta trolls who ascend themselves as the gods of the site, depending on your game. The basic opinion of a new user is to have fun there, but most of the active users there are literally self professed professionals who have no idea how to build a deck and simply copy netdeck, or are some indian, polish, finnish or romanian god player (Rarely white or chinese) who you are expected to worship as god. Either way, the new user will find himself quickly destroyed no matter what even when he uses the worst of meta, because he is unfamiliar with the cards. What's worse, the beginner might not be remembering most of the card's effects so the common response with those "gods" are the newbie is cheating. That way, the new user who comes here to have fun will basically be destroyed and no longer touch that fucking game again.
Also, be noted that you can run the world's best meta deck and play like a god and suddenly some noob comes in and screws you over with outdated/crap decks. Even if it's a noob with like 10% win rate.
And TCO has this abortion system which allows you to give a win to a player in an abandoned match if you won 30 duels, was in the site for 3 months, and among other horseshit. And beware when you abuse this system because since if you get 10 losses this way you will be locked in the dueling room for 2 months, the gods of the site which you are supposed to kneel down and worship will fucking destroy you if you dare give them the loss. Either they will report you to the ghey bhuddist admin who proceeds to ban you after seconds then proceed to kick your corpse by sending some passive-aggressive hate mail or they dispute 10 of your duels to lock you out for good. It's basically an act of faith and not a jurisdiction system. Do not be confused. And if you try to do this to anyone you will be pretty much banhammered quickly. Only the gods can do it, and it isn't you.
The other half of TCO consists of wannabe weeaboos who have nowhere to go since they don't know japanese, people who play like retards and build decks as if they were retards, the aspiring contributor who eventually gets himself into trouble and gets banhammered and people who play like gods but image himself as being persecuted by "meta trolls" and "toxic users" and makes enemies with all the players on site.
As for trading just forget about it because nobody uses the site for trading to be honest. If you do criminal scammers can rape you apart and the admin will ban your ass just by the suspicion that you are a scammer. The against bad traders site looks like a grade 3 project too.
How to troll the site[edit | edit source]
- Act smug when you dispute somebody so you can give yourself an excuse to buttrape other users
- Mingle with indians and romanians on the site
- Give yourself a premium account if you can for more credibility
- Drive away newbs from the site using your smug attitude and meta trolling. And i mean play only meta decks, preferably the most disgusting type. Make them cry with your hard meta, and if they dare tell you to fuck off report them to the admins!
- If they don't bow down to you, spam them with abusive pms and threaten to report them to the admin, again!
- Use passive aggressive attitude against innocent users and be polite and all good on your friends. Dispute all your enemies duels and pick their playing flaws as an excuse, and remember to gather their duels and solve 10 in a row so your enemy will be locked out of the room!
- Counterdeck all the users while they are not aware of it
- Lock your decks and give them all the same name in order to prevent detection
Final Notes[edit | edit source]
You cannot play Yah-Weh-Oh! there. Gays and God hate each other. Bhuddha and God hates each other too.