Tourneyfag
“Despite several of his moves being the strongest in the game, Ganondorf is currently last on the tier list (the lowest ranked unlockable), in the H tier. This is because of his very sluggish moves, average spot dodge, poor pressure, terrible out of shield options, very limited approach options, poor horizontal recovery, predictable vertical recovery, poor mobility and loss of L-Canceling (otherwise the fact that it doesn't exist in Brawl). As a result, Ganondorf has a very poor metagame and terrible matchups. He has the second lowest tier drop (Jigglypuff having the lowest).”
Tourneyfags are a kind of gaymer who parcitipates in video game tournaments in basements. These "basement tournaments" can hardly be called as a tournament, it's just a plot to overthrow and destroy the fun of a game, in the form of "competitive battling". They are famous Nazis and beraucratic fucks who love to pretend that they are gaming masters, but in reality, they are a bunch of crybabies who think super smash bros. or Pokemon is a competitive training hall, but they fail to realize it is a kid's game, and is not supposed to be fair. You have been warned.
I FUCKING BAN ALL YOUR STAGES AND CHARACTERS[edit | edit source]
The sole purpose of a tourneyfag is to completely ruin the fun of a game, all for the sake of pure lulz. Have a favourite stage, character or item? no worries, they most likely have been banned it for fun. Why? This is because their basement dewelling faggotry had mutated into a massive pile of fail, and this has caused them to defend for all things "Fair" and "competitive" As a result they are easily angered by a cloud left of yoshi's island just like they are angered about an ability who has a 1 out of 7 chance of boosting evasion. As a result Your favourite stage is usually banned (unless it is final destination, in which you should die already), so is your excadrill or kingdra-politoed combo.
Also, They had always elistabished an item clause, in which items like stars and hammers had been considered as "unfair" and they cannot even withstand a single bob-omb. when they see a bob-omb, they will immediately scream THAT WAS SOOOO FUCKIN UNFAIR!@!1111!111! and they will disqualify you in their tournament because they are too cool for any item. But in reality items randomly spawn, so they are just a pile of basement dwelling faggotry. As a result they always deactivitate items, because they are too gay to use them.
Characters had also got banned too. They had banned metaknight bacause he was too powerful, but they can ban anything just for supreme lulz. In the pokemon metagame, this is especially prominient; They had banned garchomp for at least 1 decade, and when they released it from the banhammer, They banned sand veil.
Here is an example of their faggotry;
This might be completely outdated, but it is a prime example of their faggotry. very extreme ones.
Tiers[edit | edit source]
As a form of their sheer basement dwelling faggotry, They design an system known as tiers. Tiers are basically nonexsistent for us but is 1337 for all tourneyfags. Tiers basically equal the size of a character's dick and the higher the character's tier, the larger his dick is. If you would have a favourite character, chances are it is either banned or in a low tier, since everybody would like Ganondorf over Olimar, or Mario over some obscure character. Here are a list of tiers:
- S (In pokemon; ubers):FUCKING BANNED. NO EXECPTIONS.
- A,B,C {in pokemon; OU):The majority of shit that all tourneyfags use.
- D (In pokemon; BL): Between crappy and useful.
- E,F (in pokemon; UU or RU): crappy like shit. almost nobody uses.
- G,H (in pokemon: NU); Absouloute no redeeming value. Nobody Cares.
As a result, 20 out of 37 characters are fucking low tier, as a result, it will usually be the same 8 characters you will see in their "Tournaments", if not the top 4.
NINTENDO FUCKING HATES THEM[edit | edit source]
As if these raging assclowns disguising themselves as gaming gods are not bad enough, Nintendo ACTUALLY HATES tourneyfags, and they even said the game is made for casual players, as opposed to pokemon where everybody is so lazy that they either hack the game or use simulators. disregard that, it is made by the same company. Since Nintendo does nothing other than trolling it's fans with unexpected stuff, The president of nintendo said;
| “ | ..online gaming had always been a place for the strong. One person [tourneyfags] would be living it up while hundreds or thousands of people [casual gamers] were unhappy... as long as things remain this way, online gaming can spread only so far. ...Even if people thought [the game] looked interesting, most would hesitate to get involved and stay lingering on the sidelines. ... [Brawl] would be more about the fun of sharing rather than simply competing. ... Those in the top five might feel pretty good about themselves, but what happens if you’re number 15,398 in the rankings? People considered formidable in their own particular community wouldn’t be the least bit pleased. | ” |
--Satoru Iwata Hates Tourneyfags
As you can see, tourneyfags are a disgrace to the gaming scene, Their faggotry so massive that even nintendo fucking hates them. Alas, SSMB is created for casual gamers, so the tournreyfags got trolled to no limit. PROBLEM??????
Tourneyfag Logic used in other places[edit | edit source]
- CASTLEVANIA: FISTS ONLY, NO SUBWEAPONS, NO ITEM CRASHES, NO MAGIC, NO NON-MEELEE GLYPHS, NO FLYING, NO HI-JUMP, NO POTIONS, FINAL DESTINATION
- WIKIPEDIA: NO WIKIED, NO HUMOR, NO FUN, NO VANDALISM, NO FORMAT FUCKUP, NO POV, FINAL DESTINATION
- SURVIVOR (YES, THE TV SHOW): NO STARTING SUPPLIES, NO HIDDEN IDOLS, NO GIFTS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS BACK HOME, NO ALLIANCES, NO VOTING BLOCS, ONLY 16 CONTESTANTS, NO TEMPORARY TRIPS TO ISLAND RESORTS, BORNEO ONLY, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN MOTHERFUCKER
- POKEMON: SLEEP CLAUSE, EVASION CLUSE, NO WONDER LAUNCHER, NO SAND VEIL, NO SNOW CLOAK, NO SOUL DEW ON LATIAS/LATIOS, NO MOODY, NO DRIZZLE+SWIFT SWIM, NO UBERS, OHKO CLAUSE, MODS HAVE THE RIGHT TO BAN EVERYTHING, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, GO EAT SHIT FUCKERS (No final destination in pokemon)
- FISHING: NO ROD, NO LURE, NO BAIT, UNDERWATER, FINAL DESTINATION
- FINAL FANTASY: NO SWORD, NO INNS, NO POTIONS, NO PARTNERS, FINAL DESTINATION
- EXAMS: NO CALCULATOR, NO ERASING EQUIPMENT, NO RULERS, FINAL DESTINATION
- TROLLING: NO SHOCK IMAGES, NO DOX, NO HACKER SKILLS, NO SWEARING, NO CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, NO SCREENCAPS, NO MEMES, FINAL DESTINATION
- MARIO KART: NO LUIGI, NO BOWSER, NO ITEMS, NO RAINBOW ROAD, BIRDO ONLY, FINAL DESTINATION
- HIKING TRIPS: NO SLEEPING BAGS, NO RESTING, NO TENTS, NO FISHING, NO BOATS, NO STOPS ALONG THE WAY, NO PAVED ROADS, MRE'S ONLY, DRINKING FROM RIVERS ONLY, FINAL DESTINATION
- SEX: NO VIAGRA, NO CONDOMS, NO SEX TOYS, MISSIONARY STYLE ONLY, FINAL DESTINATION
- BATTLETOADS: NO 5-LIVE CHEAT, NO WARPS, NO STICK, TWO PLAYERS, FINAL DESTINATION
- TL;DR: WE ARE A BUNCH OF BASEMENT DWELLERS WHO ARE THE PINNACLE OF GAMING FAGGOTRY
How to troll tourneyfags[edit | edit source]
- post this, this or this onto their boards.
- beat them with Ganondorf or Zelda (Unlikely but possible)
- For pokemon tourneyfags, beat them with something unexpected. Like anything from the RU or NU tier.
- Force them to play a fight with items and "illegal" stages. Doing so is heard to make a tourneyfag's head forcibly Explode.
- (again for pokemon tourneyfags) Use charizard in uber or OU. They cannot stand it, and they will die out of sheer faggotry.
- Beat them in an extremely dick-like way.
- spam their IRC or boards.
