Thomas (song)
| "Thomas" | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Single by Thirty Five Noodles | |
| from the album Thomas | |
| Released | February 14, 2006 |
| Recorded | 2005 |
| Genre |
|
| Length | 3:58 |
| Label | South Turkmen Records |
| Songwriter(s) | Eleanor Noodle, Jack Leung |
| Producer(s) | Eleanor Noodle |
| "Thomas" on YouTube | |
Thomas is a 2006 single by the South Turkmen alternative rock duo Thirty Five Noodles. It is best known for its extremely confusing chorus, which consists almost entirely of the repeated line "Thomas, Thomas, come on me" — a phrase that has generated decades of moral panic, lyrical analysis, and mild confusion among linguists.
Background[edit | edit source]
According to surviving interviews, Thomas was written during what the band later described as their "creative enlightenment phase", which reportedly lasted from 2:00 AM to 2:17 AM on a Wednesday. Both writers, Eleanor Noodle and Jack Leung, were allegedly under the influence of "various creative substances" at the time — including but not limited to cocaine, uranium, and possibly milk.
The recording took place in a partially flooded basement, with the producers claiming the “wet acoustics” gave the vocals “a certain biblical energy.” The session reportedly ended after local authorities were called regarding “unholy noises.”
Composition and lyrics[edit | edit source]
The song opens with distorted guitars, a drum machine stuck in 6/8 time against its will, and a synthesizer playing what one critic described as “a sound that could only be made by accident.” The lyrics, meanwhile, have been subject to intense debate. Some scholars argue that the refrain “Thomas, Thomas, come on me” is an allegory for spiritual awakening and the search for faith. Others believe it’s just a grammatical disaster.
Musicologists at the University of Asbatgrad concluded that the phrase “come on me” may have originally been “come, oh me” — a cry for self-reflection — but the band refused to confirm this, stating in a 2009 interview that “ambiguity sells.”
Reception[edit | edit source]
Upon release, Thomas was banned on most radio stations within three minutes. Despite that, or perhaps because of it, the single achieved cult status across several forgotten corners of the internet. Critics described it as “either the worst song ever made or the most honest one,” while fans praised its “raw emotional confusion.”
The South Turkmen National Broadcasting Service issued a statement calling the track “deeply concerning yet musically innovative.” The Pope reportedly refused to comment.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Despite (or due to) its lyrical absurdity, Thomas has gained a bizarre following. It has been covered by at least seven tribute bands and sampled in an estimated nineteen remix projects, none of which are listenable. In 2020, a remastered edition titled Thomas (Purified Mix) was released, featuring censored lyrics and reversed vocals that allegedly summon feelings of regret.
Thomas remains a cornerstone of South Turkmen’s cultural exports, symbolizing the brief era when no one knew what art was supposed to mean — and everyone was fine with that.
Album cover[edit | edit source]
The cover of Thomas features a close-up photograph of a man’s face — allegedly the titular Thomas — staring directly into the camera with the emotional intensity of someone who has just remembered an unpaid parking ticket.
The photo, according to producer Eleanor Noodle, was taken “in one take and without Thomas’s consent,” as he reportedly did not know a photo was being taken at all. The resulting image, known for its uncomfortable realism and “haunted spreadsheet energy,” has since become one of the most discussed visuals in the South Turkmen music scene.
Critics have described the artwork as “a bold representation of human confusion,” “a tax audit in JPEG form,” and “the kind of face that makes you question your life choices.” Some fans claim the image captures the precise moment Thomas heard the lyrics for the first time, while others insist it symbolizes “the confrontation between art and the unwilling muse.”
In 2016, the photograph was voted the “Most Unnecessary Use of a Face” by the Asbatgrad Visual Arts Board. The original photo negative is rumored to be kept in a locked drawer in South Turkmen Records’ basement, next to several unopened fan letters and a half-eaten sandwich believed to belong to Jack Leung.