The Stanley Parable

Hey, buddy! You gotta play it the less you know, the more brain cells you lose!

The Stanley Parable is a postmodern button-pushing simulator designed for people who like existential crises but have no time for philosophy. The main character, Stanley, is an ordinary man who spends his days in an office, pushing buttons and asking no questions, which makes him a model employee and probably a model gamer, just like you should be!

Story

Stanley worked in office #427 (42 ?) where he pushed buttons because the system told him to. One day, however, the buttons stopped working and Stanley got out of his comfy chair from his nineties for the first time in his life (at the behest of the narrator, of course). And now he was faced with a choice: obey, or be a rebel and do exactly what any other normal human being would do - ignore the instructions and wander into the inaccessible areas of the game - the weed warehouses. The narrator, who has the power, knowledge and talent of a game god, guides you through with the patience of a kindergarten teacher and a voice that could read a phone book like a suspense thriller. With every decision you make, the narrator tells you how badly you screwed up. And that's the whole story.

Gameplay

Buttons

Your main task is to press buttons. Red, blue, green, buttons that say "Do not use" (which you will use, of course). The whole game is basically about how much you want to obey commands - which could be fun if it weren't so depressingly realistic.

Options

The game constantly boasts that you have a choice. You can choose the left or the right path. And then the game punishes you for making the choice. Or it tells you that your choice won't change anything anyway, because everything was predetermined from the start - like your decision to buy this game.

The End

42 0 or 42 5?

There are several possible endings, but none of them are happy. In fact, the game offers more endings than a mainstream Hollywood movie, and each one is designed to give you a mental slap in the face. One ending is so sad that it makes you nostalgic for work simulators. Other endings take you to an area full of chaos, confusion, or (my favorite) a room full of even more buttons.

Philosophical subtext

Clearly, *The Stanley Parable* is not just an ordinary game. It's a deep, existential journey exploring free will, the human sense of being, but most importantly, how quickly you can ignore the narrator's voice. It's a story about how you become part of a system that will eventually crush you anyway. Just like at work, you eventually discover that all your choices revolve around one main goal: the buttons. Press the buttons and discover your true place in this simulated universe!

Reviews

• "After three hours, I realized my life had no purpose. 10/10." - IGN
• "Damdadaadam daadamdaa, damdadaadam daadam daadam 
  Damdadaadam daadamdaa, damdadaadam daadam daadam 
  Damdadaadam daadamdaa, damdadaadam daadam daadam 
  Damdadaadam daadamdaa, damdadaadam daadam daadam 
  Babababum bum bum doo doo doo doo 
  Babababum bum bum doo doo doo doo 
  Babababum bum bum doo doo doo doo 
  Babababum bum bum doo doo doo doo" - The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™
• "It's like Stanley Kubrick, but without the movie." - Roger Ebert
• "I never liked buttons, until now." - Hideo Kojima
• "I gave up after ten minutes. But I still feel like I finished, as I should have." - Random internet player

Trivia

• In the year 2030, it was discovered that the narrator is actually Stanley's father, who is trying to get him to finally get a girlfriend.
• In that same year, it was also discovered that one of the reviews is actually the lyrics to a song, which then got put in into the Infra Pourma version of the game.
• The secret ending of the game reveals that Stanley is really just a simulation of another player who is also a simulation of someone else. This loop continues until we return to the first computer on which the game of Pong was written.
• The narrator was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in a Play.

See also

• Job Simulator 2050
• Undertale
• Omori