The 50/50 Rule

“All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction. You have a 50% chance to survive make your time. Ha Ha Ha Ha ....”

~ CATS on 50/50 rule

“I'm going to flip this coin, and let it decide whether I should order some Chinese food this evening or just go for a pizza...”

~ Two-face on 50/50 rule

“There is a 50-50 chance of me posting this on this article.”

~ Captain Obvious

The 50/50 rule states that everything has a fifty percent chance of either working in a person's favour or not. Unfortunately, this applies to everyone BUT you, who has a 100% percent chance of bad luck, and who's life has been, and will continue to be, miserable for the rest of eternity. It is therefore used but the PFP (People For Pessimism) as their life motto.

This Gorilla has a 50/50 chance of either being totally ugly, or just being mentally retarded.

Orgin of the 50/50 rule

The 50/50 rule, also known as Zoidal's Law, was discovered in 1897 B.C, by the greatest thinker of mankind, Old man Cedric.

Artist's rendering of Old Man Cedric

Being the notorious criminal he was, Cedric found himself in jail quite often in his senile years. While rotting in his cell, he often told his cell mate that neither of them was actually there. Embedded journalist Clark Kent successfully died during an attempt to record such a session and was then fired for major incompetence.

Applications of the 50/50 rule

The 50/50 rule has been used repeatedly in the sciences, including Haemotolotherapy, Amalgamation, Gastropodulatory Science and, most notably, in Cake Baking.

Things that might possibly have a 50% chance of being theoretically possible. Maybe.

1. Canada was built by the aliens, as were the pyramids.

2. Broccoli is the number one cause of cancer

3. Your mum is actually your sister.

4. McDonald's legally owns the White House.

5. Blibble, the dear pet hamster you owned as a child, is planning a counter attack on the Emos tonight at 7, channel 12.

6. Finding a kid that actually likes Brussels sprouts.

7. Pi is exactly 3.

8. By reading this you are agreeing that I, Joe Magnum, own all of your possessions and assets.

9. You are not reading this.

10. Barney is going godzilla on your car.

11. Space leeks are ABOUT to go ape-shit crazy on your ass, it is proven that they will it's just a matter of time.

12.You are your own grandpa

13.Your cat has the hots for you

You have a 50% chance of being eaten by a grue and a 50% chance of being eaten by a Xenomorph. Since that makes 100%, your chance of survival is null.