That time I was nearly raped by an Oscar Wildebeest during my sojourn in wherever Oscar Wildebeests come from

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It looked kinda like this, only fucking photo-realistic.

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?

So there I was[edit | edit source]

cottaging in fucking Reading Gaol, doing my Dorian Gray thing with the actors shit and the Somdomites, right? Like, Thespian badass shit.

and this fucking mincing playwright[edit | edit source]

bursts out of the theater, the smell of jasmine all over the place, and instead of going for the Sodomites, he makes a wildebeestline straight for me.

so I pulled out my[edit | edit source]

knife and cut the shit out of the thing, and it tries to mount me! WTF?

I barely got away with major emotional damage from the biting wit and cutting insults and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. It nearly raped me.

See also[edit | edit source]